We are taught to celebrate anniversaries, however when it comes to anniversaries of death, we try to act like it doesn’t matter.

Some people don’t talk about it. Some people don’t want to talk about it. Some people just want to get through it.

The first anniversary of my mom’s death I was still numb and in a lot of pain. I downloaded her favorite singer, Neil Diamond and spent the day crying and listening to his music and I kept the TV on QVC because that was her favorite show to watch and shop.

Over the years I continue the tradition of listening to Neil Diamond. This year I actually heard him live on Periscope. I was in my cubicle, singing and crying and thinking about my mama.

Anniversaries can bring back a lot of pain or it can bring up a lot of good memories. After four years, I’ve moved to the good memories stage. I can think about my mother and not burst into tears. That’s a good thing.

If you are not at that stage, that’s OK, there is no hurry. My advice is to take your stages, day by day. There is no time limit on grief and don’t you let someone tell you there is.

Usually those are the ones who haven’t experienced grief, so give them a pass, they don’t have a clue.

What can you do if you going through grief:

Do something fun in their memory.
Do something they enjoyed doing.
Listen to music, maybe pick out their favorite music and enjoy.
Host a dinner with family members and talk about your love one.
Write in your journal, sometimes writing how you get the feelings out of you heart.
Cry if you need to and know that each anniversary the pain eases a little more.

What do you do on the anniversary of your love one?