Home   Motivation   Happy 20th Anniversary – 10 Lessons Learned In My Marriage

This post was inspired by my cousin’s blog post – Our Secrets to Love.  She offered some lessons she’s learned in her marriage.  Check out her blog – Watering Our Seeds it’s a great new blog.

I was like I’m going to do 20 lessons and as I started typing; I was like 20 is a lot.   I decided to focus on 10 that way not to overwhelm you.

My 20th anniversary is November 16th, so I’m a day early.  I’m also not including a cute picture of us, because the hubby doesn’t like pictures, so I tried to respect that. A bonus tip – Respect what they don’t like.

  1. Marriage is about commitment – You can’t turn and run every time something goes wrong. You have to decide you are in this for the long haul.
  1. Divorce is not an option – We decided in the beginning we would not say the word. We’d seen other couples throw the word up in each other faces when they argued.
  1. Communication is the most important part about your relationship. You have to let each other know what’s going on inside.  Don’t assume and don’t think they can read your mind.  They can’t.  If you are mad and they don’t know why, tell them.  You all mad and they are going on with their life.  Yes did that one a couple of times.
  1. Get Help When Needed – I will admit we had some major bumps in our marriage and the one time I was done, we decided to go to marriage counselor. It really helped to let someone else look at our issues.  One of the suggestions that came out of the counseling was to spend quality time together.
  1. Quality time together – This was a hard lesson because we had children and we thought we had to be together as a family, not realizing you still have to date each other. Its one piece of advice I give to new couples.  Make time for each other.  Even it’s once a week, you need that quality time together.
  1.  Support each other’s dreams – I’m thankful for a spouse who lets me believe in my dreams. He bought me my first computer because he knew how important writing was to me.
  1. Stay friends – a lot of people don’t think of their spouse as their friend. They should be your best friend.  The person you want to tell the good news to.  If you find yourself sharing your good news with someone else vs your spouse you need to rethink your relationship.
  1. Don’t lose yourself in your marriage – Sometime we get so caught up in the relationship, we forget we were people before the marriage. Take time for yourself and remember what you like to do.
  1. Keep your friends – I noticed when you get married you lose a lot of friends. Mainly because you don’t make time for them.  This was a hard lesson for me because one day I looked up and realized I didn’t have any close friends.  I’d let them slip away.  Now I put it on the calendar so I can spend quality time with my friends.
  1. Take it one day at time – Marriage has its ups and downs. Today you can be all lovie dovie. Tomorrow you can hate each other guts.  Doesn’t mean the marriage is over; just means it’s a bad day.  The love you have is still there, you just have to bring up out the hole you kicked it in.  No one is promised tomorrow, so enjoy each day and remember why you like each other and decided to try this marriage thing.

Those are my marriage tips, catch me in another 20 years maybe I’ll have more to share.

What’s your best marriage tip?

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  1. Don’t be presumptuous and plan social outings or even household tasks for your spouse and then get mad when they don’t want to do it.

  2. 20th wedding anniversary, wow. Congratulations!
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