How can you support your friend when their love ones dies?

1. Send your condolences

Cards, emails, social media posts. They do help.

During my grief, I read over cards, emails and social media posts to get me through those tough days.

2. Make them dinner or send gift cards for food.

Most people in grief don’t have the energy to cook.

During my grief, the gift cards helped me not have to focus on what’s for dinner.

3. Send flowers or plants

They give encouragement.

During my grief, the flowers and plants, gave me comfort and hope the day would be brighter.

4. Don’t get offended if they don’t want to talk.

Sometimes they barely have energy to say hello.

During my grief sometimes I felt drained talking especially when people want to know what happened. Repeating the story can be tiring.

5. Send money.

Death always comes after payday. Your gift might buy a meal or gas needed to get to the funeral.

I always say death comes at your brokest times. The gifts of money, hold you over in your time of need.

6. Don’t ask a million questions.

If they want to explain what happen they will. Sometimes they’ve told the same story a million times.

I think the hardest part about grief for me is the million of questions that come with it. I know we all want to know, but it’s best to wait until that person is ready to talk. We will circle back to talking about it when we are ready.

7. Let them cry.

Sometimes they have no say on when their tears will flow.

We do a lot of crying during grief. Sometimes at the weirdest times. Let the tears flow. A good time for a hug.

8. Don’t put a time limit on their grief.

Everyone handles grief differently. Just because you think they should be done doesn’t mean they are.

I found this is hard for friends because they want you to be your old self, and you’ll never be your old self. They have to learn to accept the new you and know that grief takes time.

9. Talk about their love ones.

Talking about love ones makes them feel good inside.

I absolutely love talking about my love ones, it helps heal the soul.

10. Don’t forget about them after the funeral.

After the funeral is the worse time because they have to learn to live without their love ones.

Invite them to lunch, call for a chat, send an email. Remind them that you are thinking of them and care.

I think this the hardest part about death. You hear from everyone after the death and up to the funeral but after the funeral they think you don’t want to hear from them. This is the time you need your friends because the hard days are coming. Check on your friends.

*Hug them

Sometimes they don’t need words just a sincere hug.

A hug is one of the best gifts of support you can do. Hug tighter if they start to cry.

These are a few things I’ve learned dealing with grief. It has helped me be better at supporting my friends.

Please feel free to share.